My testimony- My story

My name is Tom,

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints always was something that I was friendly with in my life, something that had been in my family for 40 years. Throughout my past I had attended my local ward many times, became familiar with the members and generally thought of the church as a friendly and spiritual place to be. I even had been at young men's nights before, and attended services; but despite this I always was skeptical of being baptized and being a full time active member. Looking back on that I never quite understood why, but it's certainly something I regretted thinking.

Missionaries had taught me about the church in 2006, and despite agreeing with what they told me, the discussions ended sadly without a baptism. I never did think of joining the church, despite thinking about it a great deal and supporting everything it taught. Looking back on that, I feel that maybe at the time I wasn't interested in joining, mainly because I didn't realise the grand spiritual significances that being a member actually had. Despite knowing the church doctrine, knowing the early history of the church, admitting the book of Mormon was true, and even agreeing that Joseph Smith was a prophet! There was such a great deal I didn't understand the time, which I now understand as a proud and faithful member of the church.

However, what I thought in the past was accounted for, and redeemed three years later in early 2009. The first few months of this year had been extremely troublesome for me, I was going through a personal trauma at home, which struck and scarred my feelings deeply because of how uneasy and how saddening it was. It was fair to see this was a dark time, and in some ways I felt my heart was crumbling because of these things. I needed a way out of it all, and I felt almost helpless to find one.

Because of these events I had moved out of my mothers house, and in with my grandmother. Someone who has been a member of the church for 40 years, her connection to the church was powerful, and it clearly shone from her brightly. Her home was always spiritual, it was a place of harmony and a place of the lord. Having pictures of christ, ensign magazines, scriptures and other church related objects. It was far more pleasant, than my mothers house, which was tainted with bad memories and forever held a nervous, sharp feeling about it.

It was not long later, that the ward missionaries visited my grandma's house for a meal as they always done on a thursday night. They had no knowledge or thought of who I was (as it had been at least a year since I last went to church). Soon enough I met them, and began talking to them. I remember that they began asking me about the church, and soon the thought came to my mind that they wanted to teach me. My thoughts were mixed at this time, and I pondered upon whether to allow them or not. To be polite I initially agreed, as there was something within me that could not come to the terms with saying no to them and turning them away. So I allowed them.

Inside, I knew already from my past experiences that the church was right and as a result I was eager to listen to what the missionaries had to teach me, feasting upon their words as they added to my knowledge of the church and of the book of Mormon. Despite this, my heart was still hard against baptism, I don't know why, but it was. I listened to their discussions willingly however, and I agreed with what they had to tell me. Eventually as I expected, they asked me if I was willing to be baptized into the church. In honesty to them, I told them no and that I was skeptical about joining and for some reason in fear of it. At this point, I had the opportunity to tell them to stop visiting me altogether. However, again I could not bring myself to say this, and instead I allowed them to keep visiting so we could discuss things further in relation to the baptism.

As the next few days past, thoughts of the church, and thoughts of being baptized pondered upon my mind diligently. I thought highly of its concepts, and what I would be taking upon myself by doing so. I remember that anxiety flew through me as I thought this, and as I recalled the past experiences that drove me out of home and the nervousness of upcoming exams. It all had a strong impact, and upon thinking deeply that the book of Mormon was true, and that the church was truem I came to the realisation and conclusion, that there was no reason at all for me not to join, and I began to feel, that through the church, god was offering me a rope out of the darkness I had been surrounded in so I could progress into a happier, and greater life with him in the church. I was no longer skeptical or opposed to being baptized, I felt inside me that it was the right thing for me to do.

Hence, it was not long later that I agreed with the missionaries I would be baptized. However despite this I was patient upon it for some reason, and ensured that dicussions continued for well over a month before that day actually arrived. It was in this time, that I studied the book of Mormon with them, and discussed doctrine in further detail. Then soon enough the big day approached, the 26th of June, the day I was baptized. I look back upon that day, as a great day, a spiritual day, a powerful day and a wonderful day. The day, that I made a covenant with christ and that I would take his name upon myself as to which every other member had done, and I was glad for it.

Looking back on it all, my decision to join the church indeed did pull me out of the darkness, make me feel so much better for myself, and cherish life and others like I never have before. I gained many spiritual and powerful feelings inside that I had never felt before, something that gave me an understanding of the church so powerful that it overpowered everything that I had ever learnt about it before. As the months past I became closer to members I already knew, met a great deal of new people, and made a whole load of new friends. I'd like to stress out, I did not have to join this church, I did not have to have anything to do with it. I could have lived my life in darkness, without guidance, without a testimony, and it deminishes greatly me to think where I would be now had I chosen that pathway. For it was my decision to join this church, and I done it on a change of heart, on a feeling of truth, and on a feeling of guidance by the spirit.

It is fair to say that I made the right choice, and I am grateful for that choice, for it truly is, one of the greatest choices I have ever made in my whole life. I offer my thanks to the spirit, the missionaries who taught me (who have now moved on), and most importantly myself for making that decision. For they did not force me to join, and as I mentioned that lied with only me. The church brought me strongly out of a hard time in my life, and I am eternally grateful for its spirit, and the blessings that it has upon me. I have never felt closer to god as I have today, and as I age in this church I will be able to say that with more and more meaning, with each passing movement. For it is the church of Jesus christ, the restored church, and the only church in the world which is the true church of god.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.